The Complexion Obsession

Well, all societies have some social evils and mine has quite a few as well. What I am going to talk about today is the complexion obsession. This obsession is mainly specific to females just like many others. And as much as we’d like to think that it’s only limited to the older generation or for that matter, the rural population, we are enormously wrong.

It’s what a million girls go through regardless of class or category. It’s all the same. When a girl is born, it is variably accepted among different societies. Some dislike it, some act against it, some dislike but accept, some are disappointed but accepting and welcoming.  But when a girl is born with a dark complexion, many are found perplexed. Some may even think a girl not born is better than a girl born dark. Many instantly wonder how they’ll manage to get her married! You see, it’s still the responsibility of the elders in the family to get youngsters hitched and it is widely accepted.

I accept it, too. I understand that this is one of the factors behind our strong family system in India. More precisely, when a marriage happens in India, it’s not the marriage of two people; it’s the marriage of two families. But that’s beside the point.

A dark girl goes through a lot. I did, too. And yes, no dark boy or fair person goes through the same. The dark girl is subjected to more struggle in every possible sphere of life- work, socializing, marriage, etc. Why? Well, it almost comes as a natural instinct to people. They would be more willing to talk to the more beautiful person than the two people standing in front of them. And here, it’s understood that a fair skinned person is better looking- ALWAYS- than a dark skinned person. And it’s assumed that a fair person is better in every aspect than the dark one; manners, nature or whatever. She has to face ruder jokes. She has to grow up faster to understand that it’s exactly how people are treated in the big world. Her bubble bursts way earlier than the ‘prettier’ ones who get the subconscious nice treatment.

And so is the life and fate of a dark girl that if she manages to improve on her complexion- meaning she happens to grow a few shades lighter- she still won’t be spared. As much as she would feel happy for getting compliments for that improvement, it is almost understood that for better or worse, her complexion will always be talked about and it will be a huge part of what defines her in the eyes of others.

And yes, it infuriates me. Why not?! If you are judged on what you can’t choose, would you like it? Wouldn’t you feel helpless? Would you not feel bad if your boss doesn’t promote you because you’re the son or daughter of a particular person that he happen to hate? And yes, you might come to embrace what you have like many stars these days claim to have done with their plus-size figures but when that topic comes under the spotlight time and again doesn’t it exasperate you, like me, that you have to stand up for yourself and give that little statement to shut people up while the others have it easy?

Oh! And then you’re told to keep quiet about it and not answer back or even give out cheeky one-liners over such comments for the sake of your image. And sometimes just because it is the demand of society that you maintain your composure in public even when they are out to assassinate your confidence or demean your wonderful personality just because you’re dark even without trying to discern even the least extent of what an amazing person you could be. Keeping quiet about it…

It’s not always safe, you see, cuz it might lead to that little riot inside of you. :)

Do post your comments and tell me your view about this!