Remember when we were kids and we couldn't wait to grow up?

What were we thinking? Because now I have to figure out stuff like "I'm almost 21, so what is my thing?" I don't love one thing that I do. Who am I? What do I do too much of that I can be known for it? Read, eat, talk, joke? Nada. I love travel and food and surreal conversations but how much of that do I really do to be known for it? How much does life allow me to make it my thing?

Honestly, what in life do we all have enough time for to do too much of some thing? Forget that, what in life is something we have the will and resources to take out all the time in the world for?

So finally, I think: I am the girl who... what?

This is probably my quarter-life crisis.

I used to be in school three years back. I used to have dreams and enthusiasm. I used to feel like I had a plan, and that come what may, I shall stay determined.

Oh, I still am determined. Though I can't see anything in front of me, right now. I see a dead end. I have a job that I'll have to take because there isn't a choice, I have an admission offer from an ivy league graduate school that I may have to decline because I don't have the money for it, I may not have any admission chances in India because I'm so burnt out with the entrances falling right in the middle of my term exams, and I don't know where to steer my ship to. It's like college is over and I have no next step to go to; a next step that puts me on a journey.

"You know what I mean?"

This is my quarter-life crisis. Definitely.
At least it's not entirely existential.

But quarter-life, definitely.