I write as I watch out of my window, breathing the beautiful
air that would be. I swell as I breathe in. I've fallen in love with this
place. It makes my heart happy. The Shard with its 800 ft. of height looks over
the water, the greens and the million laughs and hopefully, fewer heartbreaks
that find their stories in this city. I am reminded of the breeze the blew
against my face as I stared into the distance on the river in a boat; feeling a
calm that I may have never felt before. I am here, living a dream, feeling
happy; feeling complete.
I don't seem to need anything any more. I am in a
beautiful city that I explore with every footstep I take in a different
direction. I've fallen in love with every step I take to map it. I never had to adjust my traffic sense because India
drives on the left, never had to feel odd or scared because my manners seem to
match what I need to stay here, never had to stop because jaywalking is a norm
here. I was happy in my own silence as the quietude of the place matched my own thoughts. I felt as expansive as the ground I covered for I never wanted to be in this room. I may not
be claustrophobic but it really seems to be too small to contain me and
my wanderlust.
Breaking my own walls to find liberation has been
overwhelming and I can't wait to go back and be the new person but that's what
makes me pause and thinking. Would I find my liberated being a niche there? I
know I want to go back, but to what? My city? Or my old self? Sadly, I remember
my old self far too well and that's not
a very happy picture. Independence feels good. I could surely get used
to it. I carry that old self with me around, as my
mind wanders out of these premises at night. Each time I grow into the new, I
feel sadder about the old. So what am I going back to? It's really only been two weeks but I feel like I've left so many things far behind. I feel
the tips of my toes and fingers curling out, reaching out to the world. I want
to live this. In every way I can. Before I go back to my world; my country, my
state, city, house, room and old self. I will live this place, then- because I can.
London: Summer 2014
London: Summer 2014
