HAPPY BUDDAY!!!! :D

It was my birthday yesterday! *claps and does the hand action of squealing since i can't squeal! :P*

And it was a special one sine there were a lots of firsts:

1. I got my first surprise birthday party ever! *ohmygosh!itwassoooonice!*
2. It was my first college birthday!
3. It was my first birthday after school!
4. It was the first time I realised who even remotely wanted or cared to or at least bothered to keep in touch after school.
5. It was the first birthday where i had friends that i made outside of my immediate college/school environment wishing me.

Well that's enough of firsts, you know! There were more but *lipssealedpinkyswearcrossmyheart*

It was really special birthday for me. Because it brought a whole lot of new beginnings for me in a lot of aspects, a lot of things to think about and act on and finally just a lot of things to feel happy about. And if you'd known me since sometime, you would agree when i say that it was just about time that i should have things to smile about!

Gifts, did you ask? :D Skull Candy headphones, some fashion something products (i don't know what to call cleansing, scrubbing stuff which is herbal and top-notch :P), a rap song, bookmarks and most importantly, thoughtfully organised SURPRISE birthday party where i got card spelling out 8 reasons why I'm A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

Aww!!! I loved it if you haven't got a clear idea of it already! :D

'KTHANKSBYE! :D

Pro-Choice or Pro-Life?

This question has burned at the back of my mind since a long time. They talk about a normal pregnancy usually. But I think of it in a very different context.

More than a political view, I think we all hold a very personal stake in this question. Consider this:

Would you like to give birth to your child when you know he’s going to be mentally or physically handicapped?

Days back I was reading a book by Jodi Picoult called Handle With Care. It dealt with a couple who had a girl who was diagnosed with Osteogenesis Imperfecta type III while she was still in the womb. They still decided to not abort her. What followed were moments of happiness but more than that… a chain of hardships. Their marriage almost fell apart, their first daughter strayed and developed bulimia nervosa, which is an eating disorder, the mother sues her best friend cum gynecologist  to be able to earn monetary help for the daughter’s future needs. She claims in court that had she known of the problem, she would have terminated the pregnancy which she'd been lying about because she'd not say that even if she was held at gun point. Point being, no matter how noble we want to think or be or believe, when we consider the first question more things than just the desire of having that child matter:

Can the disability or handicap be cured?

How bad will it or can it get?

Will your circumstances- social and financial- allow you to take the liberty and give birth to this child?

And will YOU be able to handle it? Emotionally speaking!

Let’s face the facts. Apart from will, you definitely need a supportive environment to be able to raise such a child. You need to have the finances, the resources and finally some family support to an extent. If you do not have practical, affordable, effective and accessible resources (a part of it is medical facilities) you can’t possibly make this child survive or not hate yourself wanting to give up every time it gets hard. If you’re too lucky, you’ll work on some kind of a denial mechanism to refute the fact that it’s getting too tough to handle. And then how would it feel to see that child suffer every minute of his or her life which could be shorter than yours! It tore me apart every time Jodi Picoult described how the child was getting on with her life in the book.

We all deal with certain issues in our life. We struggle to come to terms with them. How would it be to give birth to a child who has to learn to struggle from the very minute that the child starts breathing? There is absolutely nothing to help, no consolation. Everybody would just keep thinking of those two words- what if…?- which give rise to a million questions in your mind! What if this disability didn’t exist? What if I was different? But will anybody be able to answer those? Well, nobody would know any different than what they’ve seen.

I know that families and couples who now are living with such children or family members will think I am anti-disability or anti-handicaps but trust me, I am not. In fact, I have had my share of relatives who are living with fatal problems and incurable disabilities and they’re loved like none other. If given a choice, their parents would like to do that all over again because what they got in the bargain was a beautiful child that is an indispensible part of their lives. I understand why people claim that it is more important to love your child than anything that your child suffers from. This would help you pull through. But who are you kidding?

Normal kids can’t get through just with their parents’ support. They want to commit suicides for being too fat or too ugly or if they’re bullied. How can we say such utopian things for the handicapped or disabled kids? Are you guaranteeing the fact they will have everything else perfect in their life if they overlook that one limitation? Life is a lot tougher. It bullies you, it betrays you, it eats you within and compels you to not talk about it. Then what?

Yes, I’m angry. Just because you want to say that such people deserve a life (which I don’t deny) why are you giving it to them if you already know that what will follow their birth is a just a non-terminable series of agonies, loss of faith and moments of despair which (let’s face it) are more in number and degrees than the moments that are simply divine. Also, say if a child has some mental disability or disease, I can only remotely imagine the million pieces it would tear his/her mom and dad every time they realize that they can’t live longer than their child, that there might not be somebody who would love their child they way they do, that the future of their child is uncertain to the extent of not knowing how he/she will survive after them! That dreaded question- how will she/he survive by herself? Can she/he?

It is not about the right of a child to live. Everybody has the right to life. But they should also be given a chance to live a life where they don't have such problems! And they parents get that choice. If given a choice would you not choose a life free of this handicap?

Can a parent really live through this every moment? Can a child be subjected to live through this just because deep rooted belief and thought says “Good or bad- it’s mine and I’ll handle it”?

Are you really going to forget that the child has to live that life?

Are you really that selfish?

Sour Grapes, Greener Grass... Whatever!

So well sometime back I was with this friend in the metro who was two years younger. So we had a pretty animated conversation on India, mentalities and it ended on guys.

Okay so it all started when she said she wants to go abroad for further studies because she is sick of India. And I am a whole-hearted patriot. Don’t get me wrong. I see all kinds of wrong things in India which are like in my face but then at the end of the day, it’s my country. So I told her to not get me started on it but she went on about how people think so conventionally and she just wants a group of friends that are similar to who she is and the kind of family background she comes from which is liberal. Even though I get where she’s coming from I failed to understand how India can be blamed for that.

At the age that we are broadly, every person starts getting enough individualistic perspective to be who they want to be and what their choices makes them. So, if the family background makes them who they are, she can very well go meet other people. There are tremendously varied kinds of people to get to know in our surroundings. She thinks India kicks in because of the fact that it is the typical Indian conservative mentality to hold her back. But I think that kind of phrase doesn’t hold value anymore because the phase we are in, we can’t be called specifically traditional or conservatist  or on the contrary, modernists. We are just a diverse lot with diverse mindsets. To each his own. She just has to find the right people. She doesn’t understand that she just wants a change of environment and not change of country. Or maybe it’s just her desire to travel.

Then she started talking about how the guys here are just huge perverts and think that a girl is asking for it if she is wearing hot pants or something. But what she’s forgetting is that this is not limited to Indians. It happens everywhere. I don’t know how she can think that it’s just Indians. To be clearer with this, the “slut walk” that happened in Delhi was a foreign idea adopted by an Indian girl. I understand how hard it can get to fight this mentality but you can’t quit thinking there’s a better alternative. Nothing like that exists.

And no, I’m not being complacent and nor am I playing the denial card here. I personally am in awe of this particular country and I would love to go and base myself there but that’s for entirely different reasons. India has a different characteristic about itself. Others love it. But it’s just human psyche that the grass always looks greener on the other side. You really have to set your reasons right and mostly, you have to stop lying to yourself. If you want a different kind of a culture, say it. If you want to live like the rest, say it. If you want to go to the UK or the US because it has always been your dream and it looks so fancy and the accents seem so attractive or whatever, say it! No matter what others think of your reasons, they are your reasons and you’re not lying to yourself. You’re not believing a lie and in turn expecting something which is so not what you wanted to expect in the first place. You want to have a life which is different than this and that’s it! Stop blaming India for being bad so that others look lucrative to you!

And if you really think something’s wrong with India, don’t go. Let the quiet riot simmer inside of you and make it contagious. Let all the Indians break free… with you!

Politics

Don’t we all hate it enough already? Well, let’s talk about that today. I attend something called the Model United Nations (MUN) conferences. They’re like just another debate competition with different sort of proceedings. In my very first college MUN, I along with many others observed the clear networking politics that people use- to win, to get their first executive board, etc.

As if it wasn’t all, one of my friends started doing the same. And now she’s joined on the hip with some really important people in the MUN circuit. JUST to get ahead. And all this infuriates me. I mean, I know I want to get there, too, someday- The executive board, the best delegate, etc. But for that I’m not using such political ways.

MUNs for me are sacred, if you wanna call it that. I go there for the kind of debate I get to see, the amazing intellectual stimulation, the analysis and reasoning behind it all. There’s a real skill involved in MUNing. And all of this politics just ruins it all for me.

Seeing it so clearly, I feel like I won’t continue doing MUNs from next year. It’s frustrating to go through all this.

And moreover, every big wig in MUN, I quote somebody “has an MUN that he/she endorses”. And in that process, I’ve seen a few people trying to malign the others while they’re at it. They take open digs at their “rival MUNers” and try to show them that they are better. However, they never attend each others’ conferences to really understand who’s doing what better. So, since that leaves no room for improvement or even bitter realization in some cases, these claims of being ‘better ’seem somewhat hollow to me. Competition can happen in the real senses when you really acknowledge the efforts of the other and THEN try to top them! That’s being better with ‘substance’.

However, since I love it so much, I am going to put up a few words of defense for it too. It might have politics, but some people are there because they deserve to be.  Some people make me want o overlook all of this and keep participating. And if not really then at least on the face value of things MUNs acknowledge true talent. Some people ARE arrogant about where they stand today, but they are, indeed, amazing at it. So, more or less, I want to learn. I want to grow. I want to be huge with efforts earnestly put in!

DOESN'T THIS FEEL GRAND?! Ok maybe the settings are not all this grand but i feel this!! =)

Oh and trust me, I want to learn and grow. Proof? I happen to be working for this MUN in unrealistic and really ridiculous circumstances and environment and I’m still sincere about it! (However, I’m planning on giving a good piece of my mind to the person who has been acting ridiculous and making it a painful experience for me!)

*God I’m so sincere, it’s not even funny!

Get Off That Scale!

Here's a little some thing for all of you.... and for me too! :)

Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.

You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.

It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”

― Steve Maraboli

The Lightning Jolt

Ah! Well we had the worst power grid failure in the world just recently. And if you read about it anywhere you must have gotten the stats. But I'll tell you what happened with me.

Day 1- I don't go to college!!

Day 2- I go. BUT....!!!

Well, it seemed like the worst had struck us. I was with my friend and we were going to take a metro train from a station near college to get back home. Unaware of what awaited us, we were having a very informative conversation on Model United Nations and how agendas discussed in such conference are of utter importance to every citizen of this country and this world.

I think I’d want to say that the UNIVERSE HAS ONE HELLUVA HUMOR cuz when we reached the station, we found it closed. The trains were not working. We were bothered but we decided we would take an auto to a nearby station which would be working.  We reached there only to find that that station was also shut.

(And this is exactly what the metro station looked like when we reached there! Imagine when we land there and everybody stared at our faces thinking 'here come two more!' and we're told that it's shut!)

We both let out a laugh! We were stuck and there was no way back home as we knew it. Panic situation as we would call it was laughable for us because we were in this together (THANK GOD!) and we both were clueless. Thanking mobile phones for existing, we called people who we thought could help us in this situation. Calls to our family went later, once we set out to take a bus! By the way- I have rarely ever taken a bus in my life. The count goes up till 10 at the max. And I am 18! And I have never taken the bus alone or with a friend, it’s always been somebody in family.

We saw buses passing by and I was very uncomfortable with the kind of stuffed population I saw in them. I doubt if there was space to breathe too! And then i realized that we're going to be a part of one of those kinds of buses!

(ok no this is just an exaggerated image. but to be real honest, the alarm that you just experienced with this one was just what i felt being right there! You should probably stuff the people sitting on the roof of the bus inside. maybe that shall explain what the bus looked like! Thank God, the bus had a better infrastructure and look than this one!)

Then, if that wasn't all, i got water splashed all over my pants so it looked like i had peed in them! It was just the LIMIT!

Then a blessed friend told me that the metro had started working and so we went back to the station and i travelled all the way with my wet pants back home!

Hallelujah! The city had never seemed to welcoming and beautiful to me before! And my house probably never so cozy. I changed the minute i got home and crashed on my bed to take refuge from the reality that had just passed!

What a day! (And honestly, i could say that as many times you want me to!)

It all starts simply. You learn to tie your shoes, recite your ABCs and skip count by 2. Then it starts getting more complicated.

This is something I found on tinybuddha.com

"You learn that sometimes people hurt you. That even if you plan as best as you can, the future can sometimes surprise you. That the things you expect will make you happy sometimes fall horribly short.

You start collecting ideas about how the world works and how you should operate within it- what to do, who to trust. Then just when you think you have it all figured out, your world cracks open and reminds you there's still so much to learn.

People often debate the meaning of life and how we should live it, but i think most agree that life's about learning. It's about about being a little wiser and more aware than yesterday, and using that wisdom to make the world a better place than you found it.

We all have the potential within us. We're all students and teachers, vulnerable and powerful- and that's a beautiful thing. The most influential people in the world have both the courage to inspire and the humility to be inspired."

Consider this:

People will walk in and out of your life as per their own conveniences. It hurts to realise that some people will never be a regular part of your life ever again. There will just be that memory. But mostly, you will realise that none of this will let you be angry forever (You may not ever forgive OR forget but you'll get over it if not through it :P Like I did). You are just left hoping that there's just a tiny reminder that they get in their head on what happened between you and them whenever they see you and maybe even feel sad about it just like you did once!

And i never say it's ok until it really is, so i mean it when i write it here!

Let go and let in! It's OK!! :)